Once upon a time, not so long ago.

Goldihicks or Goldi to her friends, stood on the lonely country road watching the red lights of the Trans Am roar off in the distance. “Dawgone yo' Jimmi Bob!” she screamed after him. Sho'nuff warn't mah fault he c'dn't git it up, she thought to herself. With another curse, she took off the shoes her momma made her wear and started down the road. With every painful step, she cursed Billy, and after she tired of him, she cursed her mother for pushing her to go out with him in the first place. Just because his papa owned the general store! She rolled her eyes. He was a drunk, and when he was drunk, he couldn’t get it up if his life depended on it. God knows she had sucked on it long enough. Her jaw ached from her attempts. “Ouch!” she cried when a sharp stone cut into her foot.

Her ruby red lips started to quiver with self-pity as pain washed away her anger. She continued to limp along the road shivering from the night wind that pulled at her sweater. She stopped at what appeared to be a driveway. “Who'd live way out har?” she asked herself. Only a lonely owl answered her from a nearby tree. “Yo didn’t git any either huh,” she snorted and walked past the ‘No Trespassing’ sign.

Goldi was beginning to wonder if it really was a driveway, the trees closed in around her, almost blocking out the moon that hung brightly in the clear night sky. She limped faster when she finally saw a golden glow marking a dwelling. She rushed up the steps, and pounded on the door. “Hey! Anyone home?” she yelled and pounded again. “W'dn't thet jest rotcher socks,” she muttered limping to the window to peer inside. Three chairs faced a giant TV and a fireplace. It was a cozy room, very male, from the hunting guns over the fireplace, to the bear skin rug in front of the glowing fire, obviously not tended recently. It looked so warm and inviting, as she stood blowing on her fingers to warm up.

She looked around the front yard, one pickup on blocks looking like the cast off toy, which it was. The doors gone, and all the tires, slowly it was being stripped of anything useful, most likely to keep another running. She limped back to the door and pulled a pin from her hair causing the golden locks to spill down over her shoulders. Goldi gave a frustrated groan and pushed a strand over her ear as she worked the pin in the lock. “Momma always said, A gal has t'have talent. She jest didn't know, ah was jest so dadburn talented,” she said with a laugh pushing the door open.

The warmth swirled around her the moment she opened the door. “Oh, yes,” she sighed happily and closed the door. She hobbled down the hall towards the kitchen. She looked down and noticed she was leaving a small trail of blood on the floor. “Oh gawd,” she lifted her foot and used the wall for balance to hop to the next door, relieved when she found it was the bathroom.

She rummaged in the medicine cabinet looking for antiseptic. She paused when she found three boxes of condoms. She couldn’t stop the giggle when she sat on the commode and examined the first box. X-large double strength, she laughed, “oh, someone is rather egotistical.” She set the box on the tub and looked at the next, her laughter bounced off the tiled walls. ‘Assorted neon colors to put a little fun into your night’, the box read. She wiped the tears of laughter imagining a glow in the dark dick bouncing around the bedroom. Another egotistical man, they were in large. She had yet to meet a man who needed more than a medium and even that was doubtful. Ol Jimmi Bob had one slip off one time. She set the box down with the x-large ones and looked at the last. Well finally a normal man, sized medium, her giggles started again as she examined the picture on the back. Ribbed, sure to tickle her fancy, it said. She found that hysterical, “nothin' like the real thin' no matter whut color yo' paint it, or how menny ribs it has,” she laughed and put the box down. Finding the bandages, she fixed up her foot.

She started to go back to the living room to be near the fire but spotted the bedroom across the hall. She tiptoed in, the smell of leather and after-shave washed over her deliciously. She loved that scent, it was so… manly. She ran her fingers over the heavy furniture eyeing the three beds set in the large room. She stopped at the first one, it was large, but the mattress felt hard to her touch. She moved to the other one, it was a little bigger but it had lumps and much too soft. She smiled when she got to the last one. It was huge. “C'd haf a party in this,” she said with a grin crawling up onto it. Her short dress rode up her thighs as she worked to the center of the bed and laid down. “Oh momma I done died an' gone t'heaven, tis purfect,” she whispered sleepily.

(Eff'n yo' wish t'continue, please see part two.)

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